CHECK OUT DONALD TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN SHIP

The Trump Campaign has a big, beautiful, amazing ship — don’t call it a boat. It’s YUGE! Best ship you have ever seen. Best there every could be! Trust me. It’s full of modern navigation equipment, he’s even hired a captain for it. But there’s are problems.


 Trump won’t actually listen to the captain. He insists on steering the ship, despite the lack of any piloting experience. But he did pretty well with the Cabin Cruiser he had last Spring. No reason this should be any different. After all, he won the race, although all but two others scuttled each others’ boats
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He also drives erratically, and he won’t look at any of the navigation equipment. Sometimes you get the idea he’s got no idea where he’s going. Fairly often, he drives in a circle, long enough to disturb just about everyone on the boat. But he knows what he’s doing, and he’s got a “great brain” and he “just knows” the way. He’s got a few other problems, because he didn’t actually bother to bring on a full crew.

 He’s got his family on board, nice people, happy to help, but they’re not sailors. He’s got a few from the RNC Navy, but they’re mostly milling around, wondering “are we there yet” and thinking about lifeboats.

 At random times, Mr. Trump will give a mighty yell and toss some piece of equipment overboard. “Trust me,” he says, “I know what I’m doing”. At other times, he shoots a cannon straight up, and doesn’t seem to notice the cannonballs land randomly and usually on the ship.


 Sometimes they take out a crew member, sometimes they put a hole in the hull. But they’re small holes, it’s a mighty vessel, and the ship has lots of happy passengers who at least pretend not to care about the leaks. He’s hit a few icebergs, too, but he’s certain that most of those bergs is on the surface — they’re no problem.

Most of the crew are not permitted to patch the holes or even clean up the bodies. So is he sinking? Absolutely. Will he sink all the way? Hard to say for sure. He could start listening to the captain. He could let the crew fix the holes when he makes them.

 He could throw the canon overboard, or aim it at Hillary’s ship, replacing the spit-ball gun they’re using against her right now. All those things could happen, and there’s no way to predict for certain. But the way it’s going, the ship’s going to sink.

 A bunch of the rats on board are already at the gunwales, thinking of the best way to jump and swim. As for Bloomberg? He’s got his own private helicopter, he’s never been a full-time passenger on any RNC or DNC vessel. He knows Trump’s piloting skills… there was never any chance he’d choose Trump over Clinton.